Relationship Counselingin Moscow, Idaho
Do you have a difficult relationship with someone you care about?
Is there someone in your life you love, but find difficult to understand or get along with?
This person might be a parent, sibling, or other family member (or all of them!). Or, the relationship might be romantic. Even a spouse who won’t join you in marriage counseling.
Some of the relationships we care about most can be some of the most difficult to navigate. It’s painful to struggle with people we love and care about.
Do you experience any of these aspects of difficult relationships?
- You know they love you, but they intrude in your life with unwanted advice?
- They don’t seem to listen when you ask for what you need? (Wait! I can ask for what I need?)
- You’ve got a repetitive pattern of communication that leads to arguments rather than understanding?
- You feel taken advantage of, but you’re not sure how to set limits?
You don’t want them out of your life (probably). But, you do want to stand up for yourself, to be understood, and to have a healthy relationship with this person you care about. You’re just not sure how to start.
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Almost everyone has relationship stress at some point
Why is this? Well, relationship patterns and dynamics can be complex, but in a nutshell, we were all raised by and with human beings. That means even if we were raised in wonderful, loving, healthy families, they were still imperfect. We’re all human, and history, art, and literature are filled with and fueled by stories of this human condition.
Of course, if the family system you grew up in was more troubled, it stands to reason that healthy relationship and communication styles weren’t exactly modeled around the dinner table.
The good news is that you can learn to break away from unhealthy patterns of relationship, and many of your relationships can become much more fun and satisfying. Relationship counseling can help.
Relationship counseling helps by giving you new approaches to people and communication.
Would you like to:
- Sort out the difference between communication and conflict?
- Learn to be assertive without becoming aggressive or defensive?
- Understand how to diffuse difficult interactions and ask for what you need?
(How about starting with knowing what you need?)
The key to changing lies in a two-part approach:
Your relationship patterns didn’t crop up overnight. You need both insight and practical tools for change.
- When you understand why you respond in relationships the way you do, you gain compassion for yourself and heal from relational wounds.
- Learning and practicing new stress management tools and communication strategies allows you to start setting limits and asking for what you need right away.
The idea isn’t to become either a doormat or a dictator in your relationships. It’s to understand dynamics, grow into who you want to be, and create the healthiest relationships you can, for both yourself and the people you care about.
What is this work with me like?
Well, it’s not always easy! Changing our reaction habits can take some practice.
I’ll be part empathetic listener and part coach. I firmly believe that one key to change is being accepted for who we are right now, and learning to accept ourselves.
From there, we can embrace change because it happens with support and empathy, not because we think we’re not good enough already.
- We’ll look at how past events could have conditioned you for less-than-healthy relationships today.
- We’ll talk about interpersonal neurobiology so you can understand more about how your brain processes relationships—including keys to changing relationship patterns.
- We’ll blend counseling approaches and collaborate on how to make the changes that support your relationship goals.
You deserve healthy relationships.
I’ve worked with many clients who have been able to break old patterns and find new ways of relating to the people they love. It starts with developing healthy self-respect, and that’s where all the rest of my counseling background comes in.
Working with many people has helped me identify growth areas that many clients need to build healthy relationships.
If anxiety, trauma, family dynamics, or just a wrong turn into a prior bad relationship is keeping you from speaking up or seeking out healthy friends, we’ll take time to find out what makes you tick.
And, my training as a marriage and premarital counselor have given me some really great communication tools to share (even if your spouse, brother-in-law, or mom won’t join you in the office).
Naturally, you might have a few questions.
What if my friend, family member, or loved one won’t come with me to counseling?
Research indicates that even if the other person doesn’t come to counseling, when you change your own communication and part of the dynamic, there can be a change in how the other person reacts to you. Not only that, but the skills and attitudes you develop to work on just one relationship will likely bleed over into many areas of your life: other family relationships or work, for example.
It’s hard for me to believe I could ever really change some of my relationships for the better.
It’s true that sometimes when you start to learn new ways of showing up in your relationships, and new ways to identify healthy ones, you can start to see your current relationships in a new light. And, what you see might not always be pretty.
If the people around you choose not to grow, our counseling process can help you learn how to set healthy limits and hold healthy boundaries. Usually, this can happen without having to completely lose the relationship. However, becoming stronger and clearer for yourself does give you greater flexibility and choice about your relationships, such as how and when you interact with certain family members, for example.
While we can often change a relationship with another person just by changing our part of it, the only aspect of a relationship we can truly change is ourselves. I’m confident that you can change and grow for greater health.