Counseling for Men
in Moscow, IdahoAre you a guy in your 20’s to 40’s give or take?
Are you moving into a new part of life, but struggling a little with how to do that?
You’re stepping up to a new level at work, or developing a more serious relationship, getting engaged or married, or maybe becoming a dad. Your life is moving on, and it either feels like it’s coming at you pretty fast, or like it’s passing you by altogether.
You want to make good decisions, and you don’t want old holdovers sabotaging what could be really great.
The mid-20’s to mid-40’s are important years. During these years, most men are thinking about success. Success looks different to different people—it might mean creating the freedom to travel the world, or creating the income to provide for a family—but it’s usually a time of big change, big questions, and new experiences.
It can also be a time of confusion and anxiety, and that can even be true for men who’ve got some strong achievements under their belts. You might be wondering if you’re building the life you really want.
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If this sounds like you, welcome to the club.
You’re definitely not alone.
It’s the rare guy who doesn’t have some big questions and more than a few nerves heading into the prime years of achievement. These are years when careers develop, families are established, and men feel pressured to get it all “figured out.”
Different models of psychology describe this phase of life with the main questions you ask yourself:
- Can I make my life count?
- Can I find the right woman or make my marriage work?
- Can I make it in this world?
- Who am I?
- Who can I be?
But it doesn’t take a psychological model to ask these questions. You might hear them from your own anxious heart. And if you’re not in the habit of listening to your heart, you might have some full blown clinical anxiety, to boot.
The good news is that from the beginning of time, men have been making their way through these challenges, and you can, too.
Men often find confidential counseling to be really Powerful.
Often, just having a professionally confidential sounding board and clearing space to sort things out is enough to make a huge difference. Other times, professional strategies for getting past full blown anxiety or other problems is a very smart move.
Clarity is Key
Whether the issue is figuring out what you want, learning how to get out of your own way, or getting control of symptoms like insomnia, panic, or irritability, getting clear on the issues at hand is a big first step. From there, you have some choices.
What Counseling with Me is Like
I come at counseling with a blend of solution-focused, practical strategies for change, against a backdrop of the really “big picture” questions shaped by the stories that have made you who you are today.
You need solutions to manage your daily life now, and you might need to clean up some pain you can’t seem to shake off or outrun. Then you’ll have a clear picture of who you are now, and where you want to go, based on what you want, not your automatic reactions.
As your confidential sounding board and guide, I can help you:
- Slow down the squirrel-cage of stressful, running thoughts
- Reduce tension and free up decision making
- Address past events that might still be troubling
- Improve your understanding of why relationships go the way they do in your life
Together, we’ll choose how we do that.
Whatever blend of counseling approaches we choose, I always use a “strengths-based” style, meaning I don’t think you’re “broken.” I believe you’re resilient.
And, as someone who had a career prior to becoming a therapist, including training and experience as a professional coach, I’ve been around a few blocks. I think this gives me some perspective.
Sounds Good, but I Have a Few Questions First
How can I know this will stay confidential?
Confidentiality is the cornerstone on which your trust in counseling is built. If you don’t trust me to keep our conversations private, you won’t open up, and the counseling won’t yield the results we both want.
There are a few specific times that a professional counselor is legally obligated to disclose something said in counseling, and before we ever begin, we will go over those in detail and in writing so that you can feel confident about talking to me as we go forward.
Is it a good idea to open the lid on my inner life or past?
Whether current turmoil wakes you in the night, or the history of a rough past, it’s all part of your story, for better or for worse. When you try to outrun your history, it often catches up with you in ways like anxiety or irritability. But when it’s understood and accepted—sometimes integrated into your story with trauma therapy—you are free to keep the resilience it developed without letting it sabotage who you want to be now.
It’s not about dwelling on the past or making excuses because of it. It’s about putting things to rest and becoming who you want to be now.
How can I know this will be worth my investment of time and money?
Well, like many investment opportunities, you really can’t be 100% sure up front. So do your due diligence. Look at the possible return on investment. Look at what you stand to gain from resolving what’s bothering you, and what you stand to lose if you pass up the opportunity.
If you’ve read this far, it’s a good bet that something in your life is not working for you. A pattern of relationships, stress about your career, feeling trapped by every fork in the road you take—or don’t take. You’ve probably been trying to figure it out for awhile, and it’s not going away. How much of your life now or later do you want this thing controlling?
I’ve worked with many men who wondered if it would be worth it, who later tell me they’re grateful they made the choice to face the issue and deal with it.
Do your due diligence and make your decision.
Don’t drag this question around with you. Decide to do something about what’s bothering you. Take action. I offer a 20 minute, risk-free initial consult to see if we think we’re right to work together. To schedule, give me a call or shoot me a secure message through my contact page.