Do you have a difficult relationship with someone you care about?

Is there someone in your life you love, but find difficult to understand or get along with?

This person might be a parent, sibling, or other family member (or all of them!). Or, the relationship might be romantic. Even a spouse who won’t join you in marriage counseling.

Some of the relationships we care about most can be some of the most difficult to navigate. It’s painful to struggle with people we love and care about.

Do you experience any of these aspects of difficult relationships?

• You know they love you, but they intrude in your life with unwanted advice?
• They don’t seem to listen when you ask for what you need? (Wait! I can ask for what I need?)
• You’ve got a repetitive pattern of communication that leads to arguments rather than understanding?
• You feel taken advantage of, but you’re not sure how to set limits?

You don’t want them out of your life (probably). But, you do want to stand up for yourself, to be understood, and to have a healthy relationship with this person you care about. You’re just not sure how to start.

Relationship counseling helps by giving you new approaches to people and communication.

Would you like to:

• Sort out the difference between communication and conflict?
• Learn to be assertive without becoming aggressive or defensive?
• Understand how to diffuse difficult interactions and ask for what you need?

(How about starting with knowing what you need?)

The key to changing lies in a two-part approach:

Your relationship patterns didn’t crop up overnight. You need both insight and practical tools for change.

• When you understand why you respond in relationships the way you do, you gain compassion for yourself and heal from relational wounds.
• Learning and practicing new stress management tools and communication strategies allows you to start setting limits and asking for what you need right away.

The idea isn’t to become either a doormat or a dictator in your relationships. It’s to understand dynamics, grow into who you want to be, and create the healthiest relationships you can, for both yourself and the people you care about.

What is this work with me like?

Well, it’s not always easy! Changing our reaction habits can take some practice.

I’ll be part empathetic listener and part coach. I firmly believe that one key to change is being accepted for who we are right now, and learning to accept ourselves.

From there, we can embrace change because it happens with support and empathy, not because we think we’re not good enough already.

• We’ll look at how past events could have conditioned you for less-than-healthy relationships today.
• We’ll talk about interpersonal neurobiology so you can understand more about how your brain processes relationships—including keys to changing relationship patterns.
• We’ll blend counseling approaches and collaborate on how to make the changes that support your relationship goals.

You deserve healthy relationships.

I’ve worked with many clients who have been able to break old patterns and find new ways of relating to the people they love. It starts with developing healthy self-respect, and that’s where all the rest of my counseling background comes in.

Working with many people has helped me identify growth areas that many clients need to build healthy relationships.

If anxiety, trauma, family dynamics, or just a wrong turn into a prior bad relationship is keeping you from speaking up or seeking out healthy friends, we’ll take time to find out what makes you tick.

And, my training as a marriage and premarital counselor have given me some really great communication tools to share (even if your spouse, brother-in-law, or mom won’t join you in the office).